Saturday, August 29, 2009


Yikes what a day! Even though it is now tomorrow! :) I started putting all my thoughts on paper early this morning. Thoughts of hope and renewal. And though I am still hopeful and renewed (although desperately tired). It seems my determination to walk by faith and not by sight was to be tested today.
Almost as soon as I put these thoughts in writing I got a phone call from my husband saying he was having hard chest pains. He had pains last week but they seemed to have eased up. Also they seem to be related to the starting of a new medication. After five hours in the emergency room, heart trouble was ruled out. 

Later that evening as Seven of Eight tried to make a bed in the living room for a sleepover she accidentally broke one of the light diffusers on the ceiling fan. The thick glass broke into two large pieces one gave her a nasty cut on the arm that we needed to butterfly. The other I think conked her on the head because he seemed a bit shocky. Though she didn't remember being hit on the head a few minutes later she passed out hitting her face and head on the way down!
I was beginning to think I was going to spend a few more hours in the ER but she is fine.

I have been informed ( by someone who shall remain nameless...Seven)) that fainting in real life is NOTHING like in the movies! Having had a similar experience once myself I would have to agree!

 Since my children are all bi-lingual and speak fluent sarcasm the jokes have begun.  The best one so far is from Five of Eight who finds the whole thing hilarious (now that he knows his sister is okay.)

" I was a little diffused and then everything went black!"

Good night all!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Beauty for Ashes

"Sometimes my ground was stony And sometimes covered up with thorn. And only You could make it what it had to be."
Rich Mullins was one of my favorite artists. He expressed so well the struggle of being a spirit creature in a flesh and blood world. It is the beauty I see around me in this temporal world that reminds me of the diverse and detailed God we serve. He makes everything beautiful in it's time as scripture says.
I took this picture a few months just ago outside of Cambria and the starkness of the gnarled piece of wood draped in a delicate blanket of flowers reminded me of God's principle of beauty for ashes.
As the Lord continues to teach me about seasons I can see the beauty even during this painful season. Each new day the Lord walks me through brings me closer to a another season. I am ready! Here Yeshua Adonai are the ashes, make me something beautiful.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Good Catch

I had an epiphany while taking a load of discarded clothing and household items to Goodwill this morning. For those of you who know me well you may think taking things to Goodwill was an epiphany! And you may be right.
Actually my light bulb moment was this. It seemed to me that God's mercy is like the netting under the trapeze artists at the circus.
When we miss the mark (sin) it is like missing the hands that are waiting and reaching out to catch us. Instead of the natural law of gravity spatting us onto the dirt floor below. The law of mercy is firmly in place to catch us! God is good.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Watercourse of Life

The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, [Like] the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
What a comforting thought. God truly is a sovereign God. I have taken great comfort in the trials and triumphs of Joseph. Joseph's troubles, as they are often called are beautiful examples of God directing one man's life through watercourse events in order to save a nation.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Be Strong and Courageous

It has been such a long time since I have written on this blog or anywhere else for that matter. There are times in life when emotions weigh so heavily on the heart there seem to be no words to express them.
Many of the events of these last few months fall into this category. I have learned some amazing lessons about God. Just like Joshua, God has told me over and over to be "strong and courageous.'" Well that's great for Joshua but I've never seen myself as either strong or courageous.
As I knelt beside my unconscious husband the other night trying with all that was in me to somehow will him not to slip into that place of no return I tapped into the only source of true strength. With each shallow breath he took I wondered if there would be another one to follow. My thoughts turned to my children and wondered if they might soon be without a father. I prayed that somehow my husband would hear my voice in that far off part of his mind and find his way back to us. All the while a fear was growing inside of me. I knew my voice alone would not be enough to call him back. I prayed without words, crying, begging God to meet him right where he was and mercifully spare his life as I waited for the paramedics to arrive. In the midst of the chaos of the night peace flooded my troubled mind. I knew whatever the outcome God was in absolute control!
One of the hardest truths for a true believer to get their little human minds around is the truth of God's sovereignty. The lesson of God's sovereignty has been one He has been patiently, faithfully, teaching me through all of this. 
We all know Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose.' How difficult that is to believe at times! The poignant question Job asks "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" is one each of has to ask at some point in our Christian life and how we answer it will determine the vitality of our walk of faith!
I am learning this bittersweet lesson and the answer to Job's question is YES! We can learn to accept and even embrace adversity as part of God's plan for our life. Adversity is the road that has lead me to the center of God's heart!
I have seen more events that can only be classified as miracles over these painful few years than ever before in my life! God has not taken away the painful circumstances but has strengthened and encouraged me in the midst of them. It has been amazing.
It is easy to think at times that there are events in our lives that may have escaped God's notice. But our God never sleeps or slumbers. His eye is ALWAYS on us! Oh, He is a loving God dear one. I have never been more convinced of this than I am right now. Without a doubt that we are called according to a purpose. The key is realizing it is His purpose not our own.
The things I am walking through are certainly not things I would have chosen for myself, believe me, but they are part of a plan. A plan for good not for evil. God who is able to see the beginning from the end has a plan for my life and yours. EVERYTHING that happens to us is part of a watercourse God has formed for your life and mine. He forms our hearts individually.
Remember God did not say that no weapon would be formed and used against us but that no weapon formed agains us would prosper! ! Battle on! We can trust in the plan. Like Joseph we will be able to operate under the banner of God's love knowing that "it was not you who sent me here, but God."