Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Being the Mom I Want to Be

I am finally becoming the mom I want to be. It has taken me a long, long, time to get here. might wonder where here is, so I'll tell you.
Here is a place where I truly enjoy my kids, and my life... most of the time...nobody is perfect! And- speaking of perfection, not looking for perfection is another huge milestone in parenting for me. I have learned that every criticism I have aimed (even mentally) at another parent or their child has usually come back to bite me on the backside! Grace is such a great equallizer. A critical spirit is like walking around on a hot summer day with gum on your shoe-it gets everywhere.
I am learning to see the world through the eyes of my children instead of always expecting them to see through my eyes. It's nice to visit ten or even twenty again sometimes!
You know those things you think you will remember you don't, at least I don't. I want to experiene my kids, imerse myself in the people they are becoming each day, not just remember them. They are worth the effort.
I have great kids!

Friday, January 18, 2008

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

I'll be fifty on my next birthday. I am not sure how I feel about that.
When I look and my daughters, they are so beautiful, their eyes are bright and unlined, their skin smooth and flawless and their smiles radiant. They don't know yet what I known for a while -youth by it's very nature is attractive. Perhaps that is why our culture chases so hard after it and why the enemy of our soul tries to despoil it.
I look at my reflection and realize the face in the mirror will never be nineteen again and that's okay. I like the lady in the mirror...most days. She reminds me of my mother strong and resourceful. Our eyes are the same hers and mine, small and full of fire, but the eyes of the lady in the mirror relfect memories that are mine alone.
The nose is definitelty Dad's, the chin too. I think the chin is from my Scotch-Irish Grandma and traveled across the sea from England with her. It's definitely a family chin-my Aunt Rho has it and so do my uncles. I am sure the "chin" goes back for many generations. There is much about the lady in the mirror that is unique; a merging of differnet cultures and characters, all on my face!
My life has been a good one. Each life have heartaches and sorrows, frustrations and disappointments and mine is no exception to be sure. And there are times-okay I'll admit it-when I wonder what it would be like to be young again. Would I make different choices ? Would the mistakes of the past be repeated? I am grateful to an all wise God that those choices have been kept from me.
I love my children very much but I know the road ahead will have heartaches for them and I am glad not to have to walk the road of my youth again. I do hope to be here for a long time to help them and to comfort them on their walk but the truth is "Life is a hard place to grow up."
To have a life without heartache means you have closed your heart to all the love and hope God has to offer and that is not realy living at all! Life was meant to be so much more!
I pray with my whole heart that my children will make their choices in life carefully because these life-choices will have an eternal impact on their lives and the lives of others. We truly do not live in a bubble.
I am excited for my children, they each have so many firsts still ahead of them and I pray that they will learn to listen to that still small voice that will willingly lead them if they will listen, He says in His word that HE wants to guide us with His eye. I am convinced there are GREAT things God wants to do in each of their lives. A unique work of God that without their obedience may not be completed.
Friday morning thoughts...