Yeah it's Like That....

Yeah, it's like that.
One day life makes some sense then you blink and it sends your whole world adrift. Sometimes even being obedient can subject us to gut wrenching pain. I see now why God is called the "Anchor to Our Soul" because without the the gravitational pull of His love and mercy on my soul I would be lost right now. 

But I'm not lost~I just have no idea where I'm headed :) Wouldn't it be wonderful if God was like MapQuest? I could type my coordinates (or questions) into 'GodQuest' and a little map with step by step directions would pop up on the screen? "Ahha" I would say,"Now this all makes sense!" 

Blessings,
Thankfulheart

The Club

 I have heard the term "club" used this past year by other parents that have lost children. I suppose in some ways it is- but not a club you join.  If membership were optional, it wouldn't be desired. You wouldn't invite your staunchest enemies to join much less someone you love. This club seeks you out and you have no choice but accept the lifetime membership. Your dues have been paid, there is no escape clause, no loopholes, no expiration date.
 My best comfort has been from eye contact with other members of the "club". They can see into my very soul. Their  hug, like a secret handshake in a fraternity that conveys and understanding  no words can express. Their hand on my shoulder radiates healing into  places deep. 
For all my fellow club members thank you for sharing what I couldn't carry alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight. 
                               Thank you EVERYONE that has come along side of my family.  

                                      Grief shared is lessened and joy shared is multiplied. 
                                                                  Robert David Rodeen
                                 April 25, 1984 *and all the memories in between* June 11,2014
                                                         Thanks for the Memories

                                   

aka Thankfulheart

ASK

 I haven't blogged much lately-without excuse- except to say I have been exhausted body, soul and spirit 

I have been thinking about the acronym A.S.K., Ask, Seek, Knock. 

What is forming a groove in my brain is the complexity of these three "simple" words. 

Honestly, I don't know what to ask most of the time. My human understanding, my natural bent towards selfishness and my limited ability to stay focused...SQUIRREL!....interfere with the type of "asking" I know Jesus is talking about. 

In a renewed and profound way I am beginning to understand that asking is the key. So my prayer these last few days has been "Rip the veil off Lord!"  "Show me what to ask, show me how to ask, and when to ask because if' as you said, "I have not because I ask not." then I want, I need, to understand  more fully this mystery of petition. "

All I know right now is asking is a key component to a viable prayer life -a viable life in general-that  stays connected to its source of power and moves with purpose. Knowing how to ask means living a life of  expectancy- waiting anxiously to hear God's next whisper. 

Knowing when to ask means I can have peace especially during those seasons when life is exceedingly painful. I can have the confidence that there is a plan for my life and the specific unfolding of that plan is perfectly timed. Like they say in show business," Timing is everything." 

Blessings, 

Thankfulheart

Baby Steps

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. These are not changes that were planned for by any means and most definitely not changes were looked forward too. But often times changes are cast upon us and it seems we have no choice at all. Thankfully we are not just blown about by the winds of life. There is a divine plan for my life and yours. We may not be able to control life but we do have control over is our response to these bumps and bruises that happen along the way as we try navigate through life.
Recently I had the "opportunity" :) to spend the morning at the Department of Human Services. For me this was a devastating and humiliating experience, a stark reminder to me that my life was not in a place I wanted it to be. It was a reminder that someone in my life had made poor choices and now my security and the security of my children in jeopardy. My faith was being tested.
I had a good cry (Okay more than one cry.) about these turn of events. I mean I had the Waa waa's so bad you would have thought I was dying. In a way I suppose was. My stupid (Yes kids, I said stupid!) pride was again on the alter and it hurt.
After all "I" was at the welfare office...PLEASE! Me?The welfare office was not for people like me.
I had a hundred and one reasons why I shouldn't be there. I looked around through guarded eyes. There were homeless people there and people that smelled funny and people that acted funny. There were people with prison tatts all over their bodies including their eyelids,there were wild children with disconnected parents, jaded employees, and...and...and...."Oh Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! " "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."
The only ones that seemed to be enjoying this little adventure were my two precious grand babies. They were oblivious to my pain and embarrassment. They liked the man that smelled funny. They traded smiles with him. They didn't care if he lived in Beverly Hills or a cardboard box. They didn't seem to notice the man with tattoos on his eyelids and the wild children were an endless source of amusement to them.
So what was my problem? You see it really was my problem. My pride had drawn some insidious internal dividing line, like the lines you see on maps that aren't really there.
Perhaps some of "them" had made some bad choices that ended them in this waiting area for desperate people. Maybe "they" had lost a loved one or a job. Aren't most of us a paycheck or two away from losing everything? Perhaps they had worked hard all of their lives but had a son or daughter that good hooked on drugs and now they had the to assume the responsibility of raising grand children or great grandchildren.
I suppose if I could have thrown off my self pity for two minutes together I could have connected with some of them. If my better than attitude would have been left outside I could have seen with Christ's eyes for just a moment.
"...whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child..."
Oh how grown up my heart had gotten! From my place on the map it was okay to cross the line to help others or befriend the down and out as long as I was able to cross back over into my safe place. You see I had security. I had a warm home, a dependable car and a steady paycheck.
It feels good to help others BUT is it truly loving them? Poverty can be a great equalizer. Strip away the pretense and you'll find people are all pretty much the same.
Humanity-that is what the God Man was so irresistibly drawn to. He loved broken people. How often had I read "and He had compassion..." Where was my compassion that day? Why did it have to take having everything stripped away for me to see the truth that was in my own heart?
I wasn't seeing others with the precious eyes of Yeshua! I was the rich young ruler who couldn't truly follow Yeshua because he couldn't walk away from his earthly good! I was the brother to the prodigal that couldn't overlook the stench of pigs.
Oh, Heavenly Father forgive me for closing my heart to the many opportunities you provide for me everyday to love the way you do. Thank you for your precious
Holy Spirit that desires truth in our inward parts. Open my heart...I want to be a baby :)
Blessings,

Night Watches

I woke up from a dead sleep the other night. I felt God wanted me to pray. There was nothing in particular bothering me. (Because it was about me I am ashamed to admit!) I rolled over and went back to sleep only to be awakened again a short time later. Being the spiritual person I am ~I again wanted to go back to sleep.
"It's an invitation" the Spirit whispered. So I went to my knees and the reward was mine :)


The Lord had me praying for people very far away. I couldn't see their faces but someone was crying out to God and He had invited me to join with them in prayer. I sensed the urgency of their need as the Spirit again spoke "They are fighting for (or over) water." In my mind I saw the dryness of the land.


I take water for granted. I turn on a faucet and water shows up right on schedule. But what if there was no water? Not just at the faucet, what if there was no water for miles. What if when you did find water it was dirty and contaminated. What if your cup held death instead of life.
Water will not only be a tangible reminder to pray those who struggle for every drop of the life giving liquid. But also a reminder that God prompts us to pray for a reason. Accept the invitation!


Blessings,


Thankfulheart

After posting this I went on line to see if there was a more tangible way to help.
http://www.waterwellsforafrica.com/theneed.html

Complaint Department

WOW! Reading through the bible in 90 days is almost too fast to go through the Word. There are so many treasures and I want to dig them all up and have a look but there just isn't time. Occasionally a segment of scripture will jump out at you, almost as if it were electrified in some way and you have to stop and visit there for a while because you know you have stumbled upon something that's meant for your heart and not just for your eyes. Exodus 16:7&8 was that little chunk of wisdom that needed to soak down into my heart this week.

..."for the LORD hears your complaints which you make against Him. And what are we? Your complaints are not against us but against the LORD.”

ALL of those little complaints I harbor against the slow waitress, the thoughtless driver, the cranky child in the theatre, the rude person at the grocery store -verbalized or not - those complaints are really complaints against God! God sovereignly placed each of those people in my life for His purpose.

His purpose is to produce good fruit in my spirit and each of those people (and circumstances) was strategically placed along my path by a loving God to produce a bumper crop of love, joy, peace, long -suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness & self-control in my life. Did I mention long-suffering and self-control?

Scripture is always an accurate mirror reflecting the true condition of our hearts. Our complaints against others (especially God's elect) truly are complaints against God! What I need to remember and what the Children of Israel tended to forget was that giving into the weakness of the flesh to complain against others travels directly to the ears of God! That to me is a very sobering thought!

Blessings,

El Roi

Today was the first day of the Reading Through the Bible in 90 Days Challenge. These first 16 chapters of Genesis reminded me of the thoughtful blueprint for creation that starts at Genesis 1:1 and reveals the relational nature of God as He lovingly creates a habitation for Adam and Eve; beautiful garden not just for them to enjoy and care for but a place for The LORD of all creation to walk in and visit along with the couple of His creation.
As I finished up my daily reading -chapter sixteen grabbed my heart. The story of the outcast, unwanted Haggar touched me so deeply. I found it easy to relate to this woman who wondered at times if God really saw her. She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: "You are the God who sees me," for she said "I have now seen". The One Who Sees Me (Genesis 16:13)
.Haggar had met El Roi at the point of her greatest need and over the past couple of months I too have been touched deeply by the knowledge that God sees me and hears my voice at the point of my greatest need. He is El Roi-the God Who Sees Me.
Blessings

Little Things

Then Jesus asked, "What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches."
Little things really are important. The little things we do can can make a big difference in the lives of others. What small thing can I do today to bless someone else?
Blessings,

Doctor !Doctor!

How often I am the little girl who climbs up on my Daddy's lap. The last few days have been "Daddy's lap" days for me.
I have been struggling for some time with discouragement. I have had no joy in my life and prayer has been difficult for me.
When we are sick we often have symptoms that prompt us to go to the doctor. The doctor asks us about the symptoms we are experiencing but he understands that symptoms are not the problem. The symptoms are clues that help the doctor to diagnose the underlying ailment.
"My symptoms Doctor, are that I am not happy and I have no joy. I am finding it hard to pray and when I do it seems my prayers are so self-centered. Doctor, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. What is my problem?"
Thankfully my Daddy is a doctor and a very good one at that. His answers are always the right ones but not what I want to hear at times.
" Child, I have promised you joy. It's right here if you want it, you know that. I love you. I have never withheld any good thing from you. Perhaps you feel you are entitled to feel the way you do? You can hang on to those feelings if you'd like to. If you would you rather wear the apron of a martyr or the bandages of the wounded than this beautiful crown of joy that choice will always be yours to make. I'll wait right here.
I have to wonder though if you have any idea how much I would like to see you walk in joy?
Let me ask you a question Child, be honest now, do you really want this gift I am offering you? It is yours, but you have to want it enough to reach out and take it. I have so much more for you too, you have no idea what is waiting here and now! Will open you open your heart and receive? Be courageous Little One and see what the mighty arm of God can do!"
Blessings!

I Got Me a New Attitude!

Easter for me this year is bittersweet because I so vividly remember where I was this time last year. Passion week last year found me at an all time low and yet God visited me in a way most miraculous.
I have at times set my focus on the circumstances of life letting my own emotions drag me down instead of believing that God was actively at work in my life, even when there was no outward evidence of it. Instead of adjusting the set of my emotional sails accordingly, I allowed myself to slip into despair, like a ship set a drift in a storm. The result was not only disastrous for me but brought others down with me.
I have since learned how destructive it is to let others control my behavior. As a mother and a professing Christian I need to keep a positive mindset. I am not talking about positive thinking for the sake of positive thinking either -but actually walking by faith -not by sight and passing off a tangible life skill to my children in the process!
As much as is possible I am resolved to keep my focus on the many blessings God has bestowed on me! I want to leave my children with the memory of a Philippians 4 mom. A mom who was strong enough to overcome the obstacles in life but who was gentle, gracious and kind. I want to teach my children how to love the roses of life without being mortally wounded by the thorns. .
We all encounter negative situations and negative people. I will however no longer allow myself to be weighed down by the negative mindset of others. Negative attitudes are very contagious and if I am not very careful I become a conduit that passes bad attitudes on to others!
Philippians 4: 4-8 is a Biblical mandate that tells me not only how to change, to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, but is insistent that I must change my mindset. It is my reasonable service, not contingent upon how I feel. I am to rejoice in the midst of my circumstances even when they are unpleasant. The only way I can possibly do this is to view my circumstances through the eyes of faith. We are not rejoicing in the circumstances so much as in the knowledge that Christ Jesus is the blessed controller of all things!
I am choosing this day by an act of my will to focus on what is true. Even if my circumstances look discouraging. I will rejoice in the Lord always. I will rejoice! I will let my gentleness be evident to all. Because the Lord is near. I will behave accordingly. I will not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I will present my requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and my mind in Christ Jesus. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy—I will think about such things.
Blessings,

* Romans 12:1
* Phil. 4
* 1Timothy6:15